Star Hype: The Farce is Awake A Film Review by Jehosaphat Q. Blatte

For those of us who grew up with Star Hype, there is a child-like awe that takes over upon watching a new Star Hype movie.  The original Star Hype was the first movie I saw in the theaters.  I was eight years old and all I knew at the time was that flying in space with lasers was cool.  I was already a fan of Star Dreck but where Star Dreck was cerebral and came out as our distant future, Star Hype was pure escapism – wrought with emotionalism, happening somewhere else – nowhere near here – AND in a distant past that no one can possibly know.  Star Dreck was attainable.  Star Hype was mythic.  Star Dreck was for humanistic science geeks.  Star Hype was for everyone, especially everyone who loves sword and sorcery stories set in outer space.

So it was that I grew up with the Star Hype action figures, the “Tied Fighters” and “Xtra-Wing” toys.  More movies followed.  Soon it was clear that Star Hype was not just one movie, but a whole series of films and a vast universe of comic books, novels, and even cartoons.  Early on, we were told there would be nine movies – three prequels and a sequel trilogy.  And now here we are – Star Hype follows Star Dreck into reboot territory with fresh young actors carrying the torch for the old series.  So many years later – the beginning of the sequel trilogy and the possibilities for Star Hype are endless. 

You may ask, now that the child-like wonder has waned, is the movie really any good?

No.  But for Star Hype, this movie is fan-shmastic.  True fans may remember that after George Puke-On-Us, the original creator of Star Hype, dug a huge hole and shat out the three prequel movies in a mess of CGI defecation, expectations were low for this adventure.  So, within that context, this new installment in the franchise, called ‘The Farce Hastens’ manages to not stink – and in a hugely stylistic and entertaining way. 

It’s a home-coming of sorts for fans.  All the best Star Hype elements are there – there is a masked villain who could have used to be somewhat of a good guy.  There is an unlikely hero who is dirt poor – who literally lives on a dirt planet but has mysterious ‘farce’ powers that protect her throughout the film.  There is a giant clobber-planet-ship that is utterly evil and is ready to kill and must be destroyed at the end.  There are Strobe Troopers in white uniforms and “Tied Fighter” spaceships who have terrible aim.  Harston Fjord, as Handy Solo says some funny-ironic things in a comically cool way.  There is consequential stuff done with life sabres – which are very popular swords that glow in different colors.  Chewtobacca, who is a lovable but somewhat scary Wokie – a humanoid goat-creature that stands on its hind legs and shoots a laser bow-and-arrow – is back in a more crucial role.  Newcomers to the movies will be entertained by the extensive use of specialty effects which bring all kinds of fantastical creatures, space ships, laser blasts, and planetary landscapes to life.  There is also dialogue which is funny at times and sometimes dramatic and sometimes hard-to-follow.

As film-making – this movie is mediocre at best.  Plot-holes abound.  Narrow escapes make the space laser action seem ridiculous.  We are used to some of the back-story being off screen in Star Hype and perhaps explained later, but the entire back story in this film is untold or hinted at with the faintest of hints or through a hazy incoherent flashback.  When you can blink and miss key plot elements, it’s not a good thing.

In the first Star Hype movie (now known as ‘Avenged Scopes’ or Episode XLMII) there are some plot elements that we are left to assume or learn later but the important parts are shown to us.  Unfortunately, a host of questions haunt our understanding of this latest film and diminish its overall impact:

– I believe I’m not alone when I ask – why does Blend Solo decide to start calling himself Fylo Shen?  That name is NOT bad-ass.  Varth Dader – now THAT was bad-ass!
– How does Fey, the heroine of the film, get so good at using her farce powers so quickly when Fluke Skytracker (spoiler alert – he is her father!) takes a few films to get any good.  Is this just an example of ‘girl power’?
– Conversely, Fylo Shen gets his butt kicked handily by Fey yet he was trained by Fluke Skytracker.  Is this also just more girl-power?
– Unfortunately, for all of the girl-power action with Fey, General  Layla, formerly Princess Layla, still hasn’t used her Farce powers at all (beyond some spooky premonition moments).  What is up with that?  She is, after all, Fluke Skytracker’s twin sister!
– After all the years that Handy Solo and Chewtobacca have been together, it’s hard to believe that Handy only now is trying out Chewtobacca’s handy laser bow-and-arrow.  Seems like that would have happened a long time ago.
– Once Fey and renegade Strobe Trooper, Ken, leave the desert planet and escape the Worst Order fighters, they Star Hop directly into the hands of Handy Solo and Chewtobacca who are now operating a giant space barge (???) and claim to have been looking for the Millennial Falcon, Handy’s old ship, for years.  Is there a way to add that plot coincidence to the Official Film Dictionary as an example given for the term ‘contrived’?
– Also, when Handy Solo is boarded by not one, but two sets of space gang dudes, why has that not happened way, way sooner (i.e. how is he still alive when he seems to piss off everybody he meets who is not a human)?
– When R2Z2 gets depressed and goes into an extended sleep mode, isn’t there a switch or something they could have just been flipped to take care of that?
– Haven’t any of the engineers in this fictional universe thought to add railings to their narrow catwalks that traverse titanic gorges?  Is there OSHA in space?  Wherever you go in these movies, there seems to be a convenient place for someone to fall dramatically as their fate is sealed.  What is up with that?
– How is the farce now awake?  Was it asleep?  Does it dream?  What does it dream about?

In conclusion, if I had to give Star Hype a ‘star’ rating it would have to be seven out of five since – you know – Star Hype.



Viscosity is generally the first leg of pubic development. After that, the class wars usually start. Typically, Mary throws the first punch, then Ed launches a paper satellite. Adam invariably starts trying to pound Truth into people whilst Yolanda flinches. Joey lunges, stopping himself mid-air like an Adobe Acrobat. Meanwhile, the primrose version of Self crumples as Ra, the god, just hangs there, suspended, stupefied. I used my dumb finder earlier then discovered I was still lost, much to my chagrin.

Viscosity also gives one impetus to simulate woodland creatures. For example, the nascent hyenas, lounging in a synthetic compound of jugular mishaps, cry with one united breath, “Look, Madge! We’re basking in it!” And then there’s that most unhappy occurrence of excrement in the jet stream that led to a meltdown in the nation’s mid-section. Blindsided, the elephant heralded a forthcoming age of Jell-O mongering. Outside the polling place, a zebra caught my eye. I took it home and felt bloated the next day. I did not eat for a fortnight thereafter. When the next election came ‘round, I encountered a giraffe outside of the polling place – a learned and gregarious giraffe. We talked of the missile crisis, chalupas, exercise fads, a Buster Keaton resurgence, the merits and otherwise of the Pissed-on Phonics craze, bling, a small section of the Louisiana Purchase (a vivisection to be precise), linguistic noodles, giant pandas, the zeitgeist and its relevance to hindsight, and the preponderance of penis-shaped objects. In fact, we bantered so long that we awoke the next morning much to our surprise outside the polling place – still. It’s a wonder we weren’t robbed, mutilated, or otherwise ostensibly violated.

To be sure, viscosity is curvy. Not all linemen are offensive, but trouble lurks within the closet. Ignatius roars, “BEHEMOTH!” Meanwhile, tenants cringe, hiding ‘neath counters and bookshelves, all the while clinging nervously to their slipshod monkey wrenches. Julia maintains a strong disbelief in viscosity whilst Cynthia channels in the corner, yelling, “SPIRITS, COME! DON’T EVADE ME, YOU ASSES! I AM CALLING OUT TO YOU. WHY DON’T YOU COME?”

Viscosity marks Time. Time marches on the front lawn. The protesters are all prosecuted, one by one. The prosecutors are then violated. Then remove the tray from the oven and set it afire. Now you’re ready to entertain with more than a dishrag!

When all else passes away, Earth included, Viscosity will remain. Viscosity is at the fore. Viscosity will see you through. Viscosity will.

The Morality of Chinese Handcuffs

The numbers are in.  Variety reports that ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ has set new records for the highest-grossing Presidents Day holiday opener of all time bringing in $237.7 million globally, ranking among the biggest R-rated debuts in American history. The film is hot.  Red hot.

Of course, there are those keen film-goers who will point out that FSOG is hardly groundbreaking in its taboo subject-matter. reports that there have been over 20 non-porn, major film releases, dating back to 1933, that have dealt with some kind of taboo sexual material (

What is different about FSOG, though, is just how popular it has become, how ‘out-in-the-open’ both the book and the film have been.  Most films of this type open in art house cinemas, to limited release, winding up as expensive Criterion collection DVD sets.  In contrast, Fortune magazine reports that the film is ‘bigger than Jesus’ blowing away Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ. Passion grossed $83.9 million on Ash Wednesday 2004.  It too had an R-rating for its intense (and some say gratuitous and sadistic) violence.

The attention has been brewing.  CNN reported on the book version of FSOG’s wild popularity way back in 2012.  CNN says that its success was: one part good timing, another part good marketing (the covers of the books were smartly discreet) and another part content with a focus on female desire, which has been largely untapped in the mainstream.

Not everyone sees it that way.  British Parliament Member, Joy Smith, proposes a boycott of the film on the grounds that it portrays violence against women.  She says, “True BDSM whipping is only ever done for the sake of pleasure, with the whip-wielder’s focus remaining entirely on whether or not the pain is pleasurable to the receiver. For some of us, it truly can be, but that comes out of a place of mutual trust and respect. In the movie, it was him acting in anger and her willingly taking abuse out of fear and a misplaced attempt to manipulate him.”

Interestingly, the focus here is that FSOG does not depict ‘true BDSM’.  Others push this anti-FSOG momentum, though with different reasoning.  Self-proclaimed virgin and World Champion hurdler Lolo Jones, also warns against the film. According to that bastion of quality journalism, TMZ, Lolo believes sexual pleasure should not be used to ‘medicate’ against emotional pain and therefore everyone should just ‘watch another movie’.  Lolo also believes FSOG glamorizes ‘unholy sex.’  Meanwhile, her boyfriend, Super Bowl runner-up Russel Wilson thinks the movie is just great.  He also likes ‘Scarface’.

There is good and bad art.  What makes the art good or bad falls to individual taste. Controversial art seems to divide populations into more or less predictable camps.  There are the libertines who express disdain for the Puritanical viewpoint.  Then there are the moral majority types who use the art as a helpful scapegoat for one or more of society’s ills.  Jeffrey Dahmer, the serial killer, was heavily into pornography, the reports say, and now we get the causation that people who watch porn are clearly going to wind up on a killing spree one of these days.

Yet Dahmer also liked Star Wars.  Nobody, though, hints that we need to be wary of people who enjoy space opera.  Nobody I know has made the slightest peep about Showtime’s Dexter, a show whose hero is… wait for it… an actual serial killer.  That show ran from 2006 until 2013.  Are fans of the show destined to become serial killers as well? Seems like there would be more of a direct correlation.  Yet few called for a boycott.

The fact that FSOG has garnered so much free publicity from those trying to avoid it suggests an interesting psychology phenomenon:  that which becomes taboo becomes irresistible. There is something about creating negative energy around something that forms a fascination.  The more that fascination festers in someone’s awareness, the more tempting it becomes.  The idea of ‘religious purity‘ from the Christian faith used to castigate bits of culture tends to amplify the very thing needing to be expunged.  I liken this to Chinese handcuffs.  When you put your fingers in, the more you struggle the more difficult it becomes to escape.  Yet, if you just slowly ease your fingers out of them, they simply fall off.

Oh, and if you want an actual review of the film by someone who has seen it – I recommend the New Yorker’s.

The 20-Yard Swing

While the Patriots bask in the glory of their squeaker victory over Seattle in Super Bowl 49, there are those who think that the ‘Deflategate’ scandal was not the real crime.

While the media harped on the idea that the Pats used underinflated footballs to gain an illegal advantage over the Colts in the cold, wet AFC Championship game, casual sports fans were distracted from events that transpired the game before, against the Baltimore Ravens. features an article (linked below) that greatly deflates the extent of the deflation.  An astute observer comments on the real story:

The Illegal 20-Yard Swing in the Pats-Ravens Game

Despite the attention heaped on deflategate, the bigger scandal of the playoffs will end up having been the refs mishandling of the Patriots eligibility-aided drive against the Ravens.

Proper enforcement of the rules would have penalized the Patriots for 5 yards. Add that 5 to the 15 yard penalty that the Ravens took to call attention to the scheme and that’s a 20-yard swing on a scoring drive in a very close game.

No one, including PROFOOTBALLTALK.COM, appears to have held the refs to the standards laid out in the NFL’s 2012 POINTS OF EMPHASIS, which specifically address the situation that occurred in the Patriots-Ravens game. Everyone, including PROFOOTBALLTALK.COM, has taken the refs at their word without much scrutiny. The refs still seem confused about how to handle this situation. If they looked at the 2012 POINTS OF EMPHASIS, the answer is right there.

The cold logic here includes two points and one extrapolation.

1. FACT: It was widely reported that Shane Vereen on at least one play reported his ineligibility just before the snap on the drive.

2. FACT: Players wearing numbers that don’t qualify them for their position must report to the referee “BEFORE ENTERING THE HUDDLE.” And if a player fails to properly report his change in eligibility, “IT WILL RESULT IN A 5-YARD PENALTY FOR ILLEGAL SUBSTITUTION.”

3. EXTRAPOLATION: If the refs had thrown the flag, Harbaugh would not have gotten the unsportsmanlike conduct. That’s the 20-yard swing on a scoring drive.

Here is the portion of the 2012 points of emphasis:
The committee also reviewed the procedures for an offensive player who comes into the game wearing a number that does not qualify him for the position he takes. These players must report to the referee, before entering the huddle. The referee and umpire will then report the same to the defensive team.

This rule prevails whether a player is already in the game or is an entering substitute and whether it is a play from scrimmage, an attempted field goal, or a try after a touchdown. If a player fails to report his change in eligibility, it will result in a 5-yard penalty for illegal substitution.

Clearly no one wants to talk about this. Not the Patriots certainly, not the NFL refs (who are still confused about how to handle this issue) and not the Ravens (who in retrospect should have called a timeout.) But that doesn’t change the fact that if the refs had handled it properly, the outcome might have been different.

-nyerinbaltimore (wordpress)

Footballs Under By Less Than Thought

*It is still a mystery how anyone thinks underinflation helped the Pats. It appeared that New England would have beaten the hapless Colts if both teams were forced to use bean bags.

The Truth Is Out There

Recently, the Russians have reportedly threatened to tell the world the truth about the existence of intelligent extraterrestial life with or without U.S. support. After a previous mention similar to this, the western press reported that Russia was “only joking”. The comments to that story give an interesting perspective on our life here on Earth. Best quote:

Your idea of perspective is important.  Most of what we consider advanced technology has developed in the last fifty years, and most of our actual scientific knowledge has developed in the last hundred to hundred and fifty years. 

We still have no coherent explanation for magnetism, and our theories of gravity are full of holes.  Our idea of the extent of the “universe” stops at the speed of light, and cosmology is in a shambles that reminds me of the state of chemistry at the time of the Phlogiston Theory.  We think of ourselves as advanced but that is a pure fantasy.

Our “civilization” is a joke.  No society that has war, poverty, starvation, illiterate masses, “religions” based on unfounded belief in fairy tales, lousy health care, overpopulation, and a history of destructive abuse of its only planet can call itself civilized.

I am often reminded of a quote from Mahatma Gandhi, who when asked what he thought of Western Civilization, paused, and said, “I think it would be a good idea.”

Considering what our society and our technology may be like in just another thousand years is enough to give one a better perspective.  Of course that depends on us finding a way to control the major result of our existence and “civilization” thus far – climate change.  We may cook ourselves right out of a chance for that thousand years of development.

I wouldn’t worry one tiny bit about exploitation by an advanced civilization.  We are doing that to ourselves just fine, thanks.  If any advanced group decides to intervene in any way, it would be a great gift, pulling us out of our egotistical misapprehension of being civilized or advanced in any meaningful way at all.  -JamesL (Disqus)

Five Signs That The Internet Is Not Ready For World Leaders To Joke About Alien Contact


There is a wrestling ring on a grainy, UHF channel with two large men on the small screen.  They pick each other up and slam each other down.  They bounce loudly off the mat.  They pull themselves right back up and square off again.  An announcer is describing the match in a louder-than-life voice as they hold each other’s skulls with ‘The Claw’.  Their hands are big enough to crush a cantaloupe.  They fold their legs into a ‘Figure-4 Leglock’.  This is a submission hold.  This is just as good as a shoulder-pin in winning the match. 

Other matches take place.  The referee stoops to check for a clean fight, paces around the wrestlers.   The ‘manager’ of one of the wrestlers sneaks a metal folding chair into the ring and slams the opponent in the head.  The ref is being distracted by the wrestler after an illegal choke hold and has his back turned to the chair bashing.  The other  opponent, with a newly cracked skull (so it seems), who is now ‘unconscious’ on the mat, is pinned.  He is so groggy he has difficulty leaving the ring. Yet, somehow, he stands and hobbles away into the wings and despite the booing crowd, this part of the show is over. 

This was broadcast TV circa 1979. I was ten years old.  Pro wrestling was a real sport.  It was really serious.  It was something a kid really cared about.  Clearly, there were good guys – buff, athletes who greeted the crowd with enthusiasm and charm – and bad guys – evil men who were menacing and wore black spandex.  They had dark hair and maybe an evil moustache or a mask.  It was easy to tell who to root for, who was ‘supposed’ to win.  There was colossal disappointment when the bad guys prevailed, but it happened.   This heightened the sense of real danger that really existed in this real sport.  Sometimes the good guys, despite all their obvious virtue, did lose.  It was all part of ‘The Script’ that later in life I found made pro wrestling more ‘entertainment’ than sport.  It was clumsy ballet for burly macho men.

Super Bowl 49 (let’s dispense with the ridiculous roman numerals) had that pro wrestling feel.   The brawl at the end where nobody really got punched. The gold-shoed running back who has to be seen popping Skittles. The carefully crafted back-story: the officials looking the other way as the bad guys, the evil empire from the cold North, cheat their way into the game.  The outcome: these evil doers wind up triumphant despite the valiant efforts of the good guys from the West who made magic happen with a spectacular, gravity-defying circus catch in the dying breath of the 4th Quarter. 

The contest pitted a young champion with a strong arm and quick legs against a handsome but brooding Dark Lord who jealously guards his mighty legacy. 

Yet, somehow, knowing that this game, this ‘world’ championship is more pop culture touchstone than athletic event, the hi-def large screen TV broadcast more grand entertainment than a true example of American football, that these gladiators are the centerpiece of a Romanesque spectacle – from the opening odes of American pride, the contestants leaving the coliseum due to dire injuries, to the Super Bowl snacks and half-time entertainment complete with dancing sharks that would make Sid & Marty Krofft jealous, and a dash of actual sport thrown into the 4+ hour extravaganza of commercialism  – even knowing all of this, I cannot stop feeling that on this night, at this time, the good guys were really going to win.  And they blew it.

Vanderbilt’s Dilemma

In response to a commenter in the Atlantic article (link below) that executive pay is “none of anyone’s business” other than shareholders:

None of our business? I don’t think so. In any case, shareholders have been unwilling or, likelier, unable to prevent the boys at the top of the food chain from cutting themselves larger, and larger, and increasingly ever larger checks, eating up ALL of the productivity gains that the rest of us in the American economy have made possible. It is the rest of our business when, for example, the US tax code rewards corporations for offshoring American jobs, instead of penalizing them. Or taxes capital gains at a far lower rate than income through labor. Like Vanderbilt said, “Incidentally, we may benefit mankind; but the aim is to earn a dividend.” So far, so good. But when that dividend fails to benefit the rest of us, when the earning of it actually hurts the rest of us, Mr. Vanderbilt and his latter-day apologists, like yourself, will have to deal with the natural reaction. Sorry if that hurts your feelings.

–Disqus User BigOnion (not to be confused with or associated with the famous parody website)

Young Adults Poorer Less Employed and More Diverse Than Their Parents

Nine Inch Nails – Playlist 4 – 7

As in the previous setlists, each of the following fit onto a standard CD. All titles are album versions unless noted.

Nine Inch Nails 4:

    1. Memorabilia
    2. Physical
    3. Complications of the Flesh
    4. Demon Seed
    5. The Greater Good
    6. The Beauty of Being Numb
    7. The Great Collapse
    8. Disappointed
    9. Help Me I Am In Hell
    10. Metal
    11. Eraser (Polite)
    12. Home
    13. Sanctified
    14. Something I Can Never Have
    15. Just Like You Imagined
    16. All The Love In The World

Nine Inch Nails 5:

  1. Head Like A Hole (Slate)
  2. Heresy (Blind)
  3. Starfuckers, Inc. (Version 2)
  4. Capital G (Epworth Phones Remix)
  5. Happiness In Slavery (Fixed Remix)
  6. Sin (Short)
  7. The Hand That Feeds (DFA Mix)
  8. Survivalism Tardusted
  9. Ghosts III – 19
  10. Gave Up (Fixed Remix)
  11. The Beginning of the End (Ladytron Remix)
  12. The Perfect Drug (The Orb)
  13. Zero Sum (Other Two Remix)
  14. The Great Destroyer (Modwheelmood Remix)
  15. Down In It (Demo)

Nine Inch Nails 6:

  1. The Perfect Drug (Plug Remix)
  2. All Time Low (Todd Rungren Remix)
  3. 10 Miles High (Version)
  4. Down In It (Singe)
  5. Throw This Away
  6. Closer (Precursor)
  7. The New Flesh
  8. A Warm Place
  9. Every Day Is Exactly The Same (Sam Fog vs. Carlos D Mix)
  10. Terrible Lie (Empathetic Mix)
  11. The Hand That Feeds (Photek Straight Mix)
  12. Starfuckers Inc. (Version 3)
  13. Various Methods of Escape
  14. Head Like A Hole (Soil)

Nine Inch Nails 7:

  1. The Becoming (Still Version)
  2. Terrible Lie (Sympathetic Mix)
  3. Self Destruction, Part Two
  4. The Great Destroyer
  5. Ruiner (Version)
  6. Head Like A Hole (Clay)
  7. Piggy (Nothing Can Stop Me Now)
  8. In Two (Cut, Fused)
  9. Reptile (Edit)
  10. Down In It (Skin)
  11. Closer To God
  12. Supernaut
  13. Only (El-P Mix)
  14. Where Is Everybody?
  15. In This Twilight
  16. While I’m Still Here
  17. Black Noise

Nine Inch Nails – Playlist 1, 2 & 3

Each of the following playlists fit onto a standard CD. All titles are album versions unless noted.

Nine Inch Nails 1:

  1. The Hand That Feeds
  2. The Good Soldier
  3. Maybe Just Once (Edit) (Purest Feeling Version)
  4. Pinion
  5. Wish
  6. Piggy
  7. Complication
  8. Terrible Lie
  9. Heresy
  10. God Given
  11. Head Down (Live at Rehearsal)
  12. Satellite
  13. Intro (Sin Video)
  14. Sin
  15. Closer
  16. Down In It
  17. The Perfect Drug (Long Version)
  18. A Violet Fluid
  19. Head Like A Hole
  20. We’re In This Together (Radio Edit)

Nine Inch Nails 2:

  1. Pinion
  2. Mr. Self-Destruct (Edit)
  3. Echoplex (Live at Rehearsal)
  4. Starfuckers, Inc. (Long Version)
  5. Capital G
  6. Into The Void
  7. Dead Souls
  8. Came Back Haunted
  9. Discipline (Live at Rehearsal)
  10. Happiness In Slavery
  11. Meet Your Master
  12. Head Like A Hole (Opal)
  13. Find My Way
  14. Deep
  15. Sanctified (Purest Feeling Version)
  16. Get Down, Make Love
  17. Last
  18. The Frail (Version)

Nine Inch Nails 3:

  1. That’s What I Get (Purest Feeling Version)
  2. Hurt (Live with David Bowie)
  3. Videodrones: Questions
  4. Every Day Is Exactly The Same
  5. 1,000,000 (Live at Rehearsal)
  6. Copy of A
  7. Only
  8. Burn
  9. Survivalism
  10. Purest Feeling
  11. Suck
  12. Love Is Not Enough (Live at Rehearsal)
  13. The Wretched (version)
  14. Leaving Hope
  15. The Day The World Went Away
  16. Driver Down
  17. Gave Up

Johnny Marr Playlist 1 & 2


  • People As Places As People – Modest Mouse
  • Vivid (Radio Edit) – Electronic
  • Run in the Dust – 7 Worlds Collide
  • Helpline Operator – The The
  • European Me – Johnny Marr
  • Sodium Light Baby – The The
  • King Rat – Modest Mouse
  • We Share The Same Skies – The Shins
  • Long Gone – Johnny Marr & The Healers
  • Red Wine Bottle – 7 Worlds Collide
  • Dashboard – Modest Mouse
  • Atom Rock (Remix) – Quando Quango
  • (Nothing But) Flowers – Talking Heads
  • Slow Emotion Replay – The The
  • Lockdown – Johnny Marr
  • Can’t Find My Way Home – Electronic
  • Windows of the World – The Pretenders
  • Love Is Stronger Than Death – The The


  • Bangin’ On – Johnny Marr & The Healers
  • Learn To Crawl – 7 Worlds Collide
  • The Messenger – Johnny Marr
  • We’ve Got Everything – Modest Mouse
  • The Patience of a Saint – Electronic
  • Say Demesne – Johnny Marr
  • Some Distant Memory – Electronic
  • The Whale Song – Modest Mouse
  • Long Time Gone – Johnny Marr & The Healers
  • Invisible – Modest Mouse
  • Reality – Electronic
  • City of Bugs – The Cribs
  • Something To Shout About – Johnny Marr & The Healers
  • Tighten Up – Electronic
  • The Last Ride – Johnny Marr & The Healers
  • Disappointed (Stephen Hague 7″ Remix) – Electronic
  • Don’t Forget Me – 7 Worlds Collide

Oh I Am Such A Fickle Mess

I Am Such A Fickle Mess

On again and off again. 
Running away and then headlong in.
I hate you.
I love you.
No stop. Please never go away.
I am such a fickle mess
I would never undress
Unless you told me
You would never like to see me again
I would pretend to hate you
Then despise you
Then we would be back in bed again
Yes I am such a fickle mess.

… something like that anyway.  That’s my attempt at Morrissey lyrics to the tune of me getting back on Twitter because I realize now that, while terrible for truly social interactions, it’s wonderful for sending random, snarky messages into the ether. 

Still, I need to not settle for the instant gratification of the 120-character message.  I need to exercise my abilities in the longer form.  Writing on Twitter is just the echoes of a flash in the brain where a sentiment is formed, crystallized and then shed into the electronic sphere.  Who reads this stuff?  Ugh.  Who knows?


S – T – E – V – E – N has to cancel a show that I couldn’t get tickets to at The National, over in the city.  So what?  I have his voice captured on plastic in the form of discs that are read by a laser.  With that in mind, I have compiled what I consider a comprehensive collection – the very best of the man who’s heart is full… (Note: the album of origin is included in parentheses)

Disc 1

Sing Your Life (Kill Uncle)
That’s How People Grow Up (Years of Refusal)
Glamorous Glue (Your Arsenal)
Hairdresser on Fire (Bona Drag)
I Like You (You Are The Quarry)
My Dearest Love (Swords)
I Know It’s Gonna Happen Someday (Your Arsenal)
Alsatian Cousin (Viva Hate)
Shame Is The Name (Swords)
The Last of the International Playboys (Bona Drag)
Jack The Ripper (B-Side Single to Certain People I Know)
November Spawned A Monster (Bona Drag)
Do Your Best and Don’t Worry (Southpaw Grammar)
I Have Forgiven Jesus (You Are The Quarry)
There’s A Place In Hell For Me And My Friends (Live At KROQ)
Let Me Kiss You (You Are The Quarry)
Everyday Is Like Sunday (Viva Hate)
You’re Gonna Need Somebody On Your Side (Your Arsenal)
Why Don’t You Find Out For Yourself (Vauxhall and I)
The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get (Vauxhall and I)
One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell (Years of Refusal)
Tomorrow (Your Arsenal)

Disc 2

You Have Killed Me (Ringleader of the Tormentors)
Satan Rejected My Soul (Maladjusted)
That’s Entertainment (B-Side Single to Sing Your Life)
Such A Little Thing Makes A Big Difference (Bona Drag)
Journalists Who Lie (B-Side Single to Our Frank)
Certain People I Know (The World of Morrissey)
Piccadilly Palare (Bona Drag)
Sister I’m A Poet (My Early Burglary Years)
Girl Least Likely To (My Early Burglary Years)
We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful (Single)
Spring-Heeled Jim (The World of Morrissey)
Interesting Drug (Bona Drag)
The Boy Racer (Southpaw Grammar)
The Loop (World of Morrissey)
Will Never Marry (Bona Drag)
My Love Life (The World of Morrissey)
All You Need Is Me (Years of Refusal)
Black Cloud (Years of Refusal)
Now My Heart Is Full (Vauxhall and I)
We’ll Let You Know (The World of Morrissey)
Irish Blood, English Heart (You Are The Quarry)
Speedway (Vauxhall and I)

After I compiled the second disc, I kept thinking that there was no way Suedehead doesn’t make the cut for the second CD. For some reason, though it’s a classic, I have never really thought it was that great musically and lyrically. Yet is haunted me. So, I rethought the order of the tracks and replaced six of the songs with six others and so I made…

Disc 2 (v. 2)

I Don’t Mind If you Forget Me (Viva Hate)
The Loop (World Of Morrissey)
You Have Killed Me (Ringleader of the Tormentors)
Journalists Who Lie (B-Side Single to Our Frank)
Sister I’m A Poet (My Early Burglary Years)
We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful (Single)
Yes, I Am Blind (B-Side Single to Oija Board, Oija Board)
Piccaddily Palare (Bona Drug)
Spring-Heeled Jim (The World of Morrissey)
My Love Life (The World of Morrissey)
Interlude w/ Siouxsie Sioux (Single)
Will Never Marry (Bona Drag)
That’s Entertainment (B-Side Single to Sing Your Life)
Moon River (Single)
Suedehead (Viva Hate)
We’ll Let You Know (The World of Morrissey)
Irish Blood, English Heart (You Are The Quarry)
Speedway (Vauxhall and I)
Black Cloud (Years of Refusal)
The Boy Racer (Southpaw Grammar)
Disappointed (Bona Drag)
Now My Heart Is Full (Vauxhall and I)