Solution to the Financial Crisis

20 seconds into the future…

The middle class can benefit from the United States post-9-11 military buildup with a new bill being introduced by Senator Buckheister Trafliguine, I-North Virginia . It will allow the Pentagon to lease the land of ordinary Americans (after a background check), to house non-lethal defense system infrastructure as well as decommissioned tanks and other ‘scrubbed’ weapondry.

Leases are currently capped at $2,000/month and adjusted according to the nature of the infrastructure and the type of equipment being stored on the citizen’s property. Active infrastructure, such as domestic spying equipment (targetted solely towards suspected terrorist cells that may exist anywhere within our borders) would merit the higher lease rate. Whereas, a few tanks or missile casings stored in a person’s backyard would merit a lower rate, especially given the fact that these would have a high recreational use for curious and playful children.

In other news… President Sarah Palin has announced her plans to retain most of the Cabinet of her predecessor, the late President John McCain, who passed away last September of natural causes. This decision seemed to be in contrast to President Palin’s choice of Stephany Jeffers, a former Miss Alaska, as her Vice President which reaped universal revile by politicos of all stripes while garnering praise from populists and men who like to see hot women on TV frequently.

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