God Chose Me and Not You

God phoned me up just a minute ago, which freaked me out. I didn’t expect it, obviously. But there He/She/It, the I AM was, on the phone.

The voice was something I can’t quite put words to. Still and small doesn’t really describe it. It was like the voice was plugged into every fiber of my body and I was resonating with the voice in my tongue, not just my ears and in my toes and eyes, and in my very center. Awesome would not describe this adequately.

Yet this indescribable voice was somehow familiar, colloquial, like an old friend. What God had to say was stunning. Some may dispute my testimony, which is fine with me. But the phone did ring and I picked it up. And this is the conversation God and I had:


“Hi, howz it going?”

“Good… who is this?”

“Umm… you should know.”

“Wow… I feel like I do. I have this strange feeling, but I’m afraid.”

“Don’t be… I’m what you call ‘God’ “

“You’re God? No way.”

“Don’t make me say ‘way’. That’s really old.”

“C’mon. You’re not God. Are you?”

“I guess if you don’t believe, I can just hang up.”

“No no… yeah, that’s cool. God, yeah… um.. why are you calling me?”

“Well, I’ve decided to make you my chosen one.”


“Yeah, that’s right. I ran some numbers and you’re just as likely as anyone else to carry out what I want, so you’re chosen. Enjoy. See ya.”

“Wait… whoa.. don’t hang up yet. What are you talking about?”

“Well, you know. You’re chosen. A lot of people say I chose them over everybody else and they think their belief makes them superior to anyone who thinks otherwise. They’re a bunch of egotistic assholes. I really dislike that.”


“Don’t ask anymore questions. I’ve decided you’re my chosen one. No one else can say that because now you’re it.”

“Why me again… I’m not following. Something about numbers? I don’t get it.”

“What did I just tell you? You don’t have to. I just want to make sure that anyone who thinks they’re the ‘chosen’ one is wrong. So, you’re chosen and metaphysically that’s all that I need to do. You just go on living and when people who aren’t you think they’re chosen, then you can smile to yourself because you know you’re the only one that is.”

“Ok, but I’m honored, but what’s the real benefit? Won’t everyone hate me when they find out?”

“Oh they don’t need to find out. Don’t tell anyone. Let them continue to think they’re the ‘chosen’. I’m just trying to teach these assholes a lesson. I never chose anyone. I put a few people on the planet and they multiplied everywhere and now a bunch of them try to say I said this or that and everything else. How they even know who I am is a mystery since I’ve never been on this planet since the beginning.”

“But what about the–“

“Of course, they make up stories, but that really just feeds their ego. Again, that’s all they seem to have going for them.”

“Um… I guess.”

“Yeah, so I’ve just been monitoring the situation a bit. You know time and space are my playthings so I reviewed the history of this planet in what you would call a ‘blink of an eye’. Not pretty. You guys need to lighten up and start treating each other better.”

“Uh… I…”

“Don’t try to apologize for your own. It’s OK. I chose you simply because choosing one person will mean no one else is chosen and maybe everyone will get off their high horse.”

“So.. I can’t tell anyone.”

“I would bother. No one will believe you anyway.”


“It amuses me to know I chose just one person and everyone else is full of it.”

“I still don’t think I understand… I’m really confused.”

“Don’t worry. Everyone is. But, for me, like I said, it sets things straight in my mind. I don’t care about what they think. They’ll think whatever they want to anyway.”

“But wait… um… now that you’re here, can’t you send your Son back. You know a lot of people believe in you and you really should live up to your promises.”

“Uh huh… I’m trying to think of a nice way to say this… but, there are a lot crazy people it seems on your world and they make up a lot of stuff to feel better about things. I’m not going to say it’s all not true, because I don’t want to be mean. But…”

“So, none of it is true.”

“Let’s just say that grasping at straws seems to be the favorite hobby on your planet.”

“Wait. How do I know you’re God?”

“How do you know I’m not?”


“Gotcha…. well, gotta go. Remember you’re the only one. You’re the chosen one. Enjoy. Bye.”

And then God hung up.

Now do I believe I’m the chosen one? Of course not. The call was probably a prank or just a figment of my imagination. But it does raise some interesting issues about why God would choose one group of people over another to be his ‘chosen people’. And since there are quite a few groups who believe this, someone has to be wrong. And maybe it’s everyone, since, after all, God chose me and not you.


Everyone in our culture seems afraid that the other person may be better off, smarter, stronger, better looking…. etc. This is a fear ingrained in us by the consumerist society. The antidote to this disease is to buy more stuff, so you can feel better about yourself because you, at least, have these nice things that make you better than those people who don’t have that.

It’s all bullshit. Wake up.

Alienation of the Straight White Male

Our society is good at creating niches. There is a cubby hole for just about everybody. Everyone can fit into their neat, little cultures where they get to explore their nationality, sexuality, inclinations, and other fun stuff.

But where does the straight, white male fit in? African-Americans are typically referred to as ‘black’. These are people with near-ancestral connections to the African continent. Yet the people we refer to as ‘pinks’… er… sorry.. I mean, ‘whites’… where are they from?

Well, they are typically called ‘Caucasian’. I have never been to Caucasia. I do know of any cultural heritage I have inherited from such a place. I don’t even know where it is on the map, and I’m pretty well educated.

So, what exactly is the point of making up a place that doesn’t exist, that no one relates to? I believe it’s a ploy to alienate the white guys, to make them feel disconnected so that they try to claim whatever space they currently are in.

This is alienation I see as the root cause of all of the racism in this country. People who feel alienated are prone to anger, and prone to jealousy of everyone else who seems to have a natural place to fit in. Most white guys have their family and then that’s it. In the popular imagination there is no grouping, no cultural reference, no mother country, no sense of place. The white supremacists, who are the extreme form of this kind of racism, pretend that America is their own. We know that to do be wishful thinking. America is no one’s land. It is everyone’s land. It is a free country. There is no racial dominance of any kind. Even the native Americans have been pushed aside into their own reserved areas.

What is the solution? I don’t believe that people who have strong cultural and ethnic identities that they relate to should have to give that up. However, I don’t think that society as a whole should be actively promoting an environment where someone, because of their skin color, has to choose any particular ethnicity. I contend that all of us are individuals first and then we can create our own culture, and choose the traditions we feel most represent who we are as people. If we let others dictate how we should behave according to what amounts to stereotype, then we have died in a way. It’s time to live.

Playlist: Golden Oldies of the Rare Age – Vol. 2

1. Quiet Life – Japan
2. The Rhythm Divine – Yello
3. Mystic Remedies – Special EFX
4. Rusted Pipe – DNA feat. Suzanne Vega
5. Reel Ten – The Plugz
6. Falling – Angelo Badalamenti feat. Julee Cruise
7. In The River – The Call
8. The Firewalker – Shadowfax
9. What We All Want – Gang of Four
10. Atrocity Exhibition – Joy Division
11. I Burn For You – Sting
12. Need You Tonight – INXS
13. Sweet Love – Anita Baker
14. Mongoloid – Devo
15. The Natural – Randy Newman
16. She Moves On – Paul Simon
17. Beauty Has Her Way – Mummy Calls

Racial Terrorists and How To Deal With Them

There is a simple solution to rid our country of hate crimes and those whose minds are smaller than drops of the common blood that flows through all of our veins. The newly expanded power of government when it comes to law enforcement and military intelligence will be effectively applied to those who think they can intimidate others with their racial prejudices and ‘South will rise again’ mentality.

Treat racists as enemy combatants and give them a one way ticket to Guantanamo Bay. Since these domestic terrorists have declared war on American citizens, they 1) have revoked their own rights as citizens 2) have declared war against the United States. They should not only be treated as enemy combatants but also as traitors. The death penalty is too good for these who have wrought hate on America for generations.

It is time for America to excise this foreign power, this neo-Confederacy from the Union forever. Thanks to the handy tools that GOP Imperialism has supplied, we can now destroy the common enemy of both parties.

Revolution Now.. or not.

Let’s not just tax the rich. Let’s round them up and put them in the meat grinder. They have used their wealth to keep America down. We can do without them. Let’s feed their carcasses to the starving people in Africa. No… of course I don’t mean that. The Africans would be poisoned, of course, by the putrid flesh of these rancid jackals.

For the corporate hogs who have shipped our jobs overseas. For the corporate hogs who don’t pay working Americans a living wage. For the corporate hogs who pay themselves 364 times more than the average worker. I say round them up and lock them away forever. Let them eat each other to survive. They don’t deserve mercy. They deserve to suffer like the dogs they are.

Ok, ok… ok… you’re right.. I sound angry and divisive in the words above. I also mix metaphors by calling the wealthy jackals, then hogs, then dogs. Really, that’s unfair to those animals who have really not done anything to deserve to be associated with these unspeakably bad excuses for human beings.

Oh, but you’re right.. every wealthy person couldn’t possibly be in this category, so you know, I take it all back. Let’s tax the middle class more and keep pumping money into wealthy pockets so they can continue their racist agenda and keep ordinary Americans down. Let’s just keep that plan going and see where it goes. Pretty soon we won’t need to worry about learning Spanish. It will be Chinese.

Gosh darnnit, though, I really like the meat grinder solution, though. You betcha!!

Playlist: Golden Oldies of the Rare Age

I Don’t Remember – Peter Gabriel
Dislocation – Ultravox
Driver 8 – REM
Life At A Top People’s Health Farm – The Style Council
Arms Control Poseur – The Fall
Fascination Street (Remix) – The Cure
Sweetness and Light – Lush
The Fly – U2
Down In The Park – Gary Numan
She’s In Parties – Bauhaus
Television Man – Talking Heads
Life In the Gladhouse – Modern English
Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode
State of the Nation – New Order
Under the Milky Way – The Church
Faded Flowers – Shriekback
There Is A Light That Never Goes Out – The Smiths

A Big Difference

The difference between the GOP and the Democrats is that members of the GOP can hardly understand any organization where its members would not be in lock-step agreement. Democrats, on the other hand, disagree with each other vehemently on many issues, yet manage to keep together a political party. That is, in fact, the nature of a Democracy. You hash out issues until you come up with a satisficing solution. Everyone sacrifices something to come up with a satisfactory solution that everyone can live with. By contrast, the GOP have a seniority system that pushes ideology down.

So when Democratic radicals talk crazy, Democrats who are more moderate tolerate the crazy more so than GOP tolerates its crazies. That is why GOP constantly talk about the ‘left wing’ and such as if the Democrats are this leftist behemoth. Well, we’ll see. The GOP have messed it up for everyone and themselves so much that we’re about to see if the leftists are that far left or not, because they will soon have carte blanche do what they wish with the government.

In the end, if the GOP stalwarts actually survive as a viable political party and are not rounded up and thrown in prisons around the country (a good idea), then I doubt they will survive with the same intolerant ideology. Remember the days of the ‘big tent’? So long ago…

The Abortion Debate: Part Two

If conservatives really want to fight abortion, they need to concentrate on male reproductive rights. What that would look like is, as far as I know, little discussed, and not much explored. As far as I can see, males have no rights at all in that realm. Witness the fact that if a guy is ever able to get a woman to sleep with him, he is termed ‘lucky.’

Maybe the underlying problem is that women are taught that sex, in general, is bad and thus their sexual feelings are systemically removed from their rational thought process. This leads to stupid decisions in general and thus sex is generally an unfocused activity, for both men and women.

Oh, that’s right – it’s a private matter. Never mind. Enough said.

The Abortion Debate: A Red Herring

The debate on the legality of abortion is a red herring for a deeper discussion of how much government should be allowed to regulate human reproduction. No one is arguing against the goal of more healthy babies that are being raised in happy homes. But should the government force people to have children who don’t want them? Are we going to jail the pregnant twelve year old who asks her doctor about abortion as an option? Are we going to jail the doctor for providing it?

If so, who is going to pay for the enforcement apparatus that would be needed to monitor the health care industry – local police, the state, the FBI? The fact that Christian conservatives have not thought through the sheer, massive bureaucratic logistics of this issue and been bamboozled by this emotional concept of dead babies, which no one is in favor of, is mind boggling.

Religion and Politics

In thinking, though, about the subject of religious values and politics, I am reminded that one of the founding principles of the United States is religious freedom. This makes politics a distinctly different pursuit from religion. I believe this is a natural separation rather than ideological. The idea that politics, religion, and common sense work together is difficult. Religion is a matter of spirit and faith. Politics is a matter of persuading people to certain ways of thinking. Meanwhile, government is about public policy decisions that simultaneously contend with both religious and political ideas. (Please keep in mind that government and politics are two separate things). Common sense, of course, is what people use to confront everyday practical matters. We hope that it rules out in the end.

Concerning the election I, like anybody, plan to vote for the candidate that seems to make the most sense in common with the way I think about the world. For some, though, that may mean they try to make their decision based on religious principles, thus the conundrum.