Making decisions is hard stuff. Even choosing what flavor chewing gum to buy can be really, really a chore that’s beyond the average person. So, consider how hard it is to make difficult life decisions regarding relationships.
Typically, people make these decisions by writing in to Dear Abby in the hopes of being published. If that doesn’t work, they will go to their neighbor, sister, brother, mother, father, pastor or coworker. One of the funny things about asking advice is that we often don’t even care about the qualifications of the persons we’re asking advice from. Golfers go to golf pros to ask about swing technique. Those interested in self defense seek advice regarding martial arts from karate experts and so on. When asking about relationship matters, we frequently, for whatever reason, end up asking those who have had little to no success in the area. This is usually because we only wish to divulge our deepest relationship secrets to a few trusted souls who may or may not have had any successful relationships of their own. Or we sort of gravitate to those who seem to have an air of confidence about them and have read up on the subject maybe or just have watched the right combination of soap operas, Dr. Phil, and Jerry Springer to have an idea or two, howeve misguided, about the way relationships work. Bad idea.
I suppose the message behind this blog is simply this: don’t take relationship advice from anyone but someone who has suceeded.
Some other thoughts: Theory is good, but practice is best. Each relationship between two people is different and infinitely more complex than we can fathom. So, find someone who actually knows something, ask them your question, then ignore it all and go with what your gut/heart tells you. If you make a mistake, at least it’s a mistake that came from your true self and not someone else’s relationship advice quackery.