Once in awhile a hilarious part of some movie pops into your head and you can’t resist. The following is some script from just such a part (parts, actually) in just such a movie. Of course, I’m referring to Airplane!.
Jiveman1: Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus’ be messin’ my old lady got to be runnin’ col’ upsihd down his head!
Subtitle: GOLLY, THAT WHITE FELLOW SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE OR I WILL PUNCH HIM.
Jiveman2: Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain’t gonna lay no mo’ big rap upon you man!Subtitle: YES, HE IS WRONG FOR DOING THAT.
Jiveman1: I say hey sky, s’other say I won say I pray to J I get the same ol’ same ol.
Subtitle: I KNEW A MAN IN A SIMILAR PREDICAMENT, AND HE ENDED UP BEING SORRY.
Jiveman2: Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got perform’ us’ down I take TCBin, man’.
Subtitle: DON’T BE NAIVE ARTHUR. EACH OF US FACES A CLEAR MORAL CHOICE.
Jiveman1: You know wha’ they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay’er down an’ smack ’em yack ’em.
Subtitle: EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY, WEALTHY AND WISE.
Together: Col’ got to be! Yo!
Subtitle: HOW TRUE!
Attndnt : Can I get you something?
Jivemn2 : S’mo fo butter layin’ to the bone. Jackin’ me up. Tightly.
Attndnt : I’m sorry I don’t understand.
Jivemn1 : Cutty say he cant hang.
Woman4 : Oh stewardess, I speak jive.
Attndnt : Ohhhh, good.
Woman4 : He said that he’s in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Attndnt : Would you tell him to just relax and I’ll be back as soon as I can with some medicine.
Woman4: Jus’ hang loose blooood. She goonna catch up on the`rebound a de medcide.
Jivemn2 : What it is big mamma, my mamma didn’t raise no dummy, I dug her rap.
Woman4 : Cut me som’ slac’ jak! Chump don wan no help, chump don git no help. Jive ass dude don got no brains anyhow.
MCrosky : Get me Captain Oever’s wife on the phone, we’d better let her know what’s going on.
Towergy : Chief, this weather bulletin just came off the wire.
MCrosky : Johnny, what can you make outta this?
Johnny : This? Why I could make a hat, or a brooch, a pterodactyl. . .
“Maybe some just see us divided into red states and blue states, but I see us as one America – red, white, and blue. And when I am President, the government I lead will enlist people of talent, Republicans as well as Democrats, to find the common ground – so that no one who has something to contribute will be left on the sidelines. “
According to the Boston Herald, the Arab news network, al Jazeera, ‘is airing more live prime-time broadcasting’ of the Democratic convention ‘each night than the major commercial American networks.’ Al Jazeera, according to the newspaper, is broadcasting 90 minutes of the convention each night.”
I’m wondering if the Arabs took notice when Kerry said, “I want an America that relies on its own ingenuity and innovation – not the Saudi royal family.”
Vote Keeps the Holmes Fire Burning
Jul 30, 2004
Editor, Times-Dispatch: I read with interest your editorial, “Why?” on my vote against Judge Leon Holmes’ nomination to the U.S. District Court in Arkansas. Certainly you can disagree with my vote, but since you dismissed my concerns about Judge Holmes’ “intemperate remarks” (your words), why didn’t you give your readers the benefit of knowing the substance of those remarks? Because you chose not to print them, here they are:
In opposing a rape exception to a proposed constitutional amendment on abortion, Holmes said,
” . . . Concern for rape victims is a red herring because conceptions from rape occur with approximately the same frequency as snowfall in Miami.” As my Republican colleague, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison of Texas, pointed out before she voted against him, the American Journal of Preventive Medicine estimates that 25,000 women become pregnant each year as a result of rape.
Just as disturbing, Holmes wrote the following about women: ” . . . The wife is to subordinate herself to her husband,” and ” . . . The woman is to place herself under the authority of the man . . . .”
Along with Ms. Hutchison and 44 other Senators from both parties, I believe the women and men who appear before our federal courts deserve better than this from a judge who expects to occupy his position for life. John Warner, U.S. Senator. washington, d.c.
Good article here. Read all about it.
Politics is the art of controlling constituencies while purporting to represent them. It’s the art of turning extremist views into toothless bureaucracy.
This article in today’s Washington Post describes how a woman was arrested for eating a candy bar in a Metro station. I’m so glad that we’re being protected from these insane chocolate eaters!
Forget terrorism. The real threat has a nougat center.
Check out this story in the Washington Post about the failure of Florida’s current voting audit system.
It goes without saying that unless these systems are fool-proof, the act of voting is a pointless exercise in fake democracy.
From July 17, 2004:
Kerry, Edwards Define Deviancy Down
Editor, Times-Dispatch: A few years ago Democratic Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan condemned lowering the bar of acceptable behavior for both public and private mores. The acceptance of lower standards of behavior was “defining deviancy down.”
Senators John Kerry and John Edwards come along refusing to disassociate themselves from the rude, disparaging, and vulgar comments made about the President by some of their Hollywood supporters. Instead they hide behind the fig-leaf excuse of freedom of expression. Freedom of expression has nothing to do with having the strength of character and intestinal fortitude to condemn speech content when it is inappropriate.
They prove that some U.S. Senators are leaders in defining deviancy down – something Moynihan would understand fully and disapprove of. D.E. Mosman. richmond.
From yesterday’s RTD:
What About That *#?&$! Cheney?
Editor, Times-Dispatch: Regarding the letter by D.E. Mosman:
As for “defining deviancy down,” John Kerry will have some stiff competition from our current Vice President. I suppose Kerry and running-mate John Edwards should just save the vulgar comments for the Senate floor? Stephan Lajaunie. richmond.
Cover-like art to represent the Bureau at Ampcast and other sites.
Photo by Jeff Fowler
It’s my ugly ol’ mug for the photo gallery.
Photo by Jeff Fowler
The Silence Bureau is my current music project through Intelligent Machinery Productions. Find IMP here. Find some samples of my music here. If this link become unusable for some reason there is a search option in the right hand corner of the Ampcast page. Just type in ‘The Silence Bureau’.
The following posts will include some pics for John (IMP mastermind) in promoting the Bureau.
Here’s the Reason Fun Forgot Richmond
Editor, Times-Dispatch: Regarding the article, “The City That Fun Forgot”: I have seen fun up close and personal. I have seen fun in action, and I have been in the middle of it all.
I am very sorry to admit that there has not been a Saturday night here in Richmond that I have ever been psyched for. So what they say is true: Richmond is the city that fun forgot. But why? Is it the people? No. Is it the Southern accents? No. Is it the Confederate flags on the back of pickup trucks? No my friends. The answer lies in the law.
The Commonwealth requires food sales to be 45 percent of gross sales. This law was put in place to make sure establishments would not promote drunken and wild behavior. However, this law does exactly the opposite of what it was created to do.
This law makes it virtually impossible for high-end lounges, bars, and nightclubs (prominent in most every city in the United States and the foundation of fun) to be successful in Richmond. Instead, potentially great bar owners are living with the constant threat of being shut down because of lack of food sales. These bar owners do not invest extra money in their establishments because of the constant threat of closure. Consequently, the bare-bones decor attracts the wrong crowd, which leads to violence. Later on, the owner admits he or she was not selling food in the first place.
What the city needs is a very large, very high-end nightlife destination that does not have to be concerned with food sales. Build the right places and the right people will come. And believe me, attached to the right people is fun – and lots of it! I am sorry to say that the law here does not allow for the right places, hence it does not allow for the right crowds, which eliminates any chance for fun and greatly increases the chance for violence. Mark Scordo. richmond.
It’s not enough that Richmond won’t let the Civil War die, it’s officials have to cling to the echoes of prohibition as well.